Thursday, March 7, 2013

Tweak Your Speak

I was going to title this "Tweaking Your Speak" but "Tweak Your Speak" rhymes, so that's what I stayed with.

One of the many things I've learned over the years from working with so many people on so many levels is that everyone understands things differently, which means they also have different speech patterns, methods of speaking, and different mannerisms while speaking.

The bottom line is we all feed and digest information differently. This often leads to miscommunication and hurt feelings across the board.

The Fix:
Tweak Your Speak

While communicating, listen intently, ask questions, listen to the explanation, and ask a question about the explanation if you need to. Reply "Just to make sure we are on the same page", "This is what you mean", or "This is what we're doing." While communicating, it is also important when speaking to acknowledge the person who is listening by asking questions to ensure they understand you. Because parties communicating have a shared responsibility in the communication they are having.

Never assume anything while communicating. We enter into legal agreements, peace treaties, property ownership transfers, etc. through purposeful mediation, a great deal of verbal communication, and finally written word so there is a full understanding of expectations on all parties and terms. Therefore, there is no miscommunication. Remember, the words you use are powerful and can inflect love, pain, happiness, joy, sadness, a state of confusion, understanding, peace, turmoil, and respect. So why not speak carefully, with intent, and with purpose.

Remember, mannerisms say a lot. If you are aggressive in your body language, even speaking kind words can be construed as harsh. When you are speaking about a positive event happening in your life and you put an "it might work out, it might not" spin on it (I have witnessed this method of communication countless times), it will not be understood as the positive event or news you are hoping for and/or not as important as you feel it is So when the people around you aren't congratulating you, you shouldn't become disappointed or upset with them, instead evaluate your speak. How could you have gotten the people around you to understand the importance of what is happening in your life?

This may seem like a lot of work, but if you think about it, how much work is it to fix things, feelings, relationships, that have gone awry because of miscommunication?

Take a moment, breathe, and reevaluate the way you speak, the way you listen, and the way you and the people around you are communicating. Make sure it is effective communication. Life becomes much simpler when everyone understands communication.

Peace and Love to the Universe!

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